How Was Our Wedding Different?

Moving in for that marital kiss ;)
(Veil just tossed back, moving in for that oh so sweet first marital kiss!)

So I already posted an article about how my Wedding & Honeymoon went (on a budget). I really felt like it didn’t cover all that I wanted to share about our big day and our post-marital vacation. Because, the choices we made for our wedding were really expressive of my husband’s (and my own) heart.. I feel like it really showed how far we’ve come spiritually even though some of the things we did differently weren’t noticeable right away. Some of the things we decided to do or not do, I regretted a little bit after-the-fact. Other things I’m really glad about and I wouldn’t change anything about them. I’d like to spill some of the details and I hope you guys find this to be useful or perhaps food for thought in case your big day is around the corner as well!

We paid for our own wedding… and the post wedding vacation
We paid for the whole thing excluding a few small things. It was our day and I felt like it was our responsibility. If I had waited 3 – 4 more months to get married my parents would’ve paid for it without a question. Since it was going to be a small wedding, Daniel and I didn’t see much reason to wait! So we paid for it ourselves. Cons: my parents felt really guilty that they didn’t pay for it. I feel a little bad that they didn’t pay for it too, cause I think it’s something that is really kind of bonding for the dad’s to know they paid for their ‘little girl’s big day’.

We Kept a Tight Budget
It was very important to us that we didn’t spend more than $2,000 on the whole thing (including my ‘big white dress’). Since it is essentially just a party. Not to try to degrade it… but it’s a get together. A very special get together. We would much rather put money towards our future home than spend a whole down payment for a home (or more) on one day and a week of vacation that will come and go in a flash.

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We didn’t hire a Photographer
This is one that I’m sad about now. We got some lovely pictures that our family and friends took using my (General Imaging Co. X2600) digital camera, their phones, and thankfully my dad got everything on film with his professional camera I will get the name of it if you’re interested and put that at the bottom of this post! :).. So I love the pictures we got and I’m happy about the money we did save. Honestly though, we wanted a photographer. We just didn’t really know where to look and we had such a short amount of time before the wedding to find one. Cons: It would’ve been great to have more detailed photos of the food bar and the little details.. but I was so busy being a bride and our guests were busy being guests that some of those details are now ONLY in our memory.

 

Best pick up ever

We didn’t waste money on a custom cake
I say “waste” because wedding cakes are EXPENSIVE. Even wedding CUPcakes were expensive. I seriously doubt it costs anyone $200 – $1,600.00 to make a cake for 25 people. So Daniel picked out a recipe for Vegan/Gluten Free cake balls and I covered them in vegan chocolate! I will be putting the recipe up very soon cause they were delicious! Cost us less than $20 to make 40 – 60 cake truffles. I had them all decorated and prepared the Friday before the wedding (we got married on Sunday afternoon). Pro: They were a huge hit and we were able to enjoy them without feeling guilty about any questionable ingredients!

Cake Trouffles
(Sharing our Cake Truffles. No mess!)

I didn’t walk down the aisle to “Here Comes The Bride”
I did a lot of research on the origins of the traditions surrounding weddings during my engagement, and I found out that this was a song that actually came from a scene in a play where a couple who was doomed to failure walked down the aisle. This song became a popular choice for walking down the aisle simply because Princess Victoria (in 1847) made it her choice. In addition to that, the man who wrote the song was one of Adolf Hitler’s favorite composers and it’s a popular belief among some Jewish communities that it was played throughout concentration camps. (I’m not Jewish but I don’t support traditions of meaningless, questionable or even awful origins) We opted for an adorable song called, “Hoppipolla” by Sigur Ros – the instrumental version.
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We have a covenant marriage
Although our marriage is legal we didn’t go down to the court house and get a marriage license. We had a close friend (who is a pastor) perform the ceremony. Daniel and I helped to write the reading and our vows to be silly, meaningful and very unique to us. Our covenant marriage was based off of the scriptures and how the Almighty describes a marriage ought to be performed (Ezekiel 16:8 – “…And I swore an oath to you and entered into a covenant with you, and you became Mine,” declares the Master YHVH.). So the marriage is between Daniel, Myself and the Creator. Shortly after the ceremony we signed our Covenant, our witnesses signed and the Officiant (our pastor) also signed the covenant. And it is legal in every important way. We however didn’t go ask for permission to be married from the government. Because we fit all the biblical requirements, one man and one woman, we are of mature/lawful age, we are not related and we both desired to be united as one forever, etc. 

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We saved sex for marriage
This probably won’t surprise people in the faith community, it will however shock a few. I’m sure. Because now-days this is very rare. Even in the faith community. We decided very early on in our relationship that we would save this most important and sacred act for after we got married. We were together for about 2 1/2 years before we got married. I can say, after almost two months of being married, I’m so GLAD we waited. It was worth it and then some! I’m so glad we saved this intimacy for each other. The closeness we have now that we’re married would not be what it is if we had sex prior to marriage, it especially wouldn’t be the same or as special if we had slept with other people before marriage. Also, if you’re about to get married or maybe just in a courtship (dating) make sure you check out “The Good Girl’s Guide” I have it in the resources. Daniel and I both read this book before the wedding and I think it really helped us to understand that sex isn’t just a physical act. If you try to make it that, then you’re settling for SO MUCH LESS in your romantic life than you could be getting.

Best kiss ever

We decided NOT to use any (child) prevention
I am pregnant. I conceived a few days after our wedding and we’re really excited about our small, but growing family! We both love children and we knew that we would want a family within a few years of marriage. However, we ended up deciding against birth control, contraceptives and the withdrawal method not because of a lack of information or impatience but because of sufficient information. My own sister accused me of being ‘baby crazy’ because we decided we would accept a family whenever the Almighty decided to give us one.

When Daniel told me that we would be getting married soon, and to do my research. That’s what I did. While doing this research for picking a birth control though I found out that there are health risks to EVERY method of prevention, except one. This method is called, “withdrawal”. It’s the closest thing to ‘natural’ as you can get with birth controls and contraceptives. I asked several of my married friends what they used and they had tried a few things but they all had been causing a lot of health problems (weight gain, loss of libido, heart problems, etc). So they recommended the withdrawal method. I thought that was the most DISGUSTING thing ever. I didn’t wait my whole life to have to withhold any type of pleasure or closeness from my husband or our marriage.

The only time this method is mentioned in the bible is NEGATIVELY, okay? So that’s strike one IMO. The Creator of this entire universe says that we are to multiply and be fruitful (Genesis 20:18), countless times in the bible He says children are a blessing (Isaiah, Psalms, Proverbs, John, James), Yahowah (YHVH, the Almighty) opens and closes the womb and He himself makes the child, so if he blesses us with a child it’s for a reason and he won’t give us more than we can handle. The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom (Proverbs 9:10), and we do respect/fear/love our Creator and we have faith that he will provide us with what we need to always take care of our family.

Honestly, after everything we learned (and it was A LOT) we have a very different outlook on children and pregnancy. It takes 9 – 10 months AFTER getting pregnant before you actually get to meet your baby. That’s almost an entire year. So it would be ridiculous for us to decide a little bit later “Hey, let’s have a baby” and have to wait longer when there is never a guarantee that you will be able to get pregnant. Lots of people who don’t use any prevention end up childless or with only one child. We’re expecting right now and it just furthers our closeness. Also there are lots of health benefits (hormonal, emotional and physical) that come from not using any prevention method. If you’d like more information on that please check out the links in the resources!

I hope you all have a wonderful day and that you enjoyed reading this!

PS. For those of you who were wondering, we had the wedding in my parent’s backyard. It wasn’t a particularly nice yard we made it work though and I think it really turned out great. ❤

Resources:
http://bibleandbirthcontrol.com/birthcontrolanddevotiontogod.html
http://www.flandersfamily.info/web/books/love-your-husband/
http://www.amazon.com/The-Good-Girls-Guide-Great/dp/0310334098

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